I have been accused of having a bit of a sense of humor in the past. If I can’t laugh at myself, well, I might as well die. I compiled a short list of things every new woodworker should know. Some of them are things I have learned from experience this past month. I’ll let you decide which are real. Feel free to add.
1. Never have your hand in the path of the chisel, no matter how careful you are.
2. Keep plenty of band-aids on hand.
3. Blood doesn’t wipe off of wood. It’s much easier to sand it off after it dries.
4. The edge of a freshly cut 45° miter is very sharp. See lessons 2 and 3 above.
5. Small pieces fired out of a table saw, router, or jointer sting like hell.
6. Don’t hit your thumb with the big wooden mallet. It hurts just as bad as a hammer.
7. Pay attention to the grain pattern before jointing or planing. Yes, it matters.
8. Mitered corners suck.
9. Hand cut dovetails suck.
10. Beating your head on the workbench will not square up the corners on that mitered box that the glue is rapidly setting up on.
11. Glue dries fast.
12. Don’t use your fingers to spread the glue. See lesson 11 above.
13. If you ignored lesson 12, the skin will eventually heal.
14. Six month old grandsons cry like hell when the planer starts.
15. Table saws make some saw dust.
16. Jointers make more saw dust.
17. Planers make a hell of a lot of saw dust.
18. Cherry shavings mixed with ash shavings is kind of pretty.
19. If your son-in-law is an idiot, don’t let him near your table saw with a soda can.
20. Shoving your son-in-laws head into a running table saw is illegal in some states.
21. If you smell smoke, something is probably on fire, or you need a new saw blade.
22. If someone comes to the workshop to bug you, fire up the planer.
23. Don’t try to rout a flat edge on the end of a round oak bench dog…ever.
24. A router can fire a 6” long, ¾ “ round, oak bench dog at approximately 750 miles per hour.
25. Chiseling out the waste is not as easy as it sounds.
Where are the band-aids?---Pro Libertate!